Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
