she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
