Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
