yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
