I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
