I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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