gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
