I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
