dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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