Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
