i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
