He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
