just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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