Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
