Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we made out on top of his cat.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
