I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
