Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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