you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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