all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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