Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
