Fuck appropriateness.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
