Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
