hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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