she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
