Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
a search helicopter?!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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