we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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