Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
