She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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