I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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