I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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