You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
