ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
