Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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