She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
