on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
