so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
