i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
