office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
