im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
