Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
