Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
