chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
