i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just invented taco cereal.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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