Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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