i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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