Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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