I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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