omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
