just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
