just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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