Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
