can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You took a bar mat shot.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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